Morning Routine

Our mornings begin as they always do; half asleep, I crawl out of bed to begin our day. I meet you at the bottom of the staircase. You’re either in your chair, sleeping the morning away or you’re somewhere else. When it’s the latter, I search frantically around our home, desperate to find you. When you aren’t where you’re supposed to be, I get scared that you’ll end up being the one that ruins our morning routines forever. I dread that day.

When I do find you, I am relieved, if only because we can finally get back to our morning routine. I greet you with a “hello, good morning”. It takes you awhile to warm up to me, to warm up to the realization that we are living yet another day, only to go back to sleep and do it all over again. Years from now, I might think back to whether it was you or I who did the warming…

“Hello, good morning. What do you want for breakfast?”

You say “the usual”, except we never have the usual because the usual costs money and we don’t have any money. We are broke, according to you.

So, I make my usual in the kitchen, alone, while you wait for me in your chair. I am used to our morning routine: me cooking and cleaning, you waiting for me patiently in your chair, sleeping.

When most of the food is absent from your plate, I ask how the usual was. You say the usual: “it was fine. I ate it.” Perhaps, it is only I who actually enjoys it.

Even though our morning routine seems mundane most mornings, and you say the same thing every morning and I say the same thing every morning, I remind myself to treasure these moments with you, because I know one day, life will catch up to you. You won’t be in your chair sleeping the morning away and you won’t be somewhere else in our home.

I will continue to frantically search for you though, trying desperately to find you, every single morning and every single day for the rest of my life

Hello again (again)

Sheep Creek Canyon Geological Area, Ashley National Forest
(Photo Courtesy of Jacob Compton)

Hello again, everyone! I haven’t blogged in such a long time! The days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, and I can’t honestly remember the last time I posted something. Studying for the LSAT and filling out law school applications have taken up so much of my time that I haven’t been able to sit down and type something out. So, here I am again to let you all know that I am busier than ever, but that I haven’t given up on this blog. Soon, I’ll have all the time in the world to write, so don’t give up on me either!

Quick update about me – As mentioned above, I am pursuing law school and am set to take the LSAT soon. Over Labor Day weekend, Jake and I got to visit my grandparents in Utah (stories and pictures to come). Nothing else has changed much which means that my family and I are happy and healthy despite all of the craziness that is going on on the West Coast. Overall, life is good, as always 🙂

That is all for now…thanks for reading!

Hello Again!

I haven’t blogged the past few days because life has been pretty busy and hectic. I definitely did not keep up with my personal challenge of blogging every day, but that’s okay! I’d rather write sincerely than force myself to write just for the sake of posting something.

I don’t have much to say tonight, but I did want to thank all of the bloggers out there who read my stuff and leave a like or a comment. It’s nice to know that people other than my friends and family enjoy reading what I have to say. And of course, I am extremely grateful for my family and friends who do the same… *insert red heart emoji*

I’d like to end this post with a short story…or an brief explanation…whatever you want to call it…

I started this blog a year ago, but only just began doing something with it. It took me awhile to talk myself into writing and sharing with others because I doubted that anyone would care what I had to say. What held me back was my own self-doubt that anything worth saying had already been said, and that if I did come up with saying something worthwhile, no one would read it anyways.

I got over that about a month ago because I had finally decided that I would just write for myself. It didn’t matter to me anymore whether someone read my work or not; I was just content with getting my thoughts out into the open.

Obviously, I am overjoyed that so many people have visited/viewed my site and have read/interacted with my posts. Now, I actually do care whether people read my posts or not, but that’s because I have gotten so much support and positive feedback from others, which I didn’t expect at all! So now, I write for myself and I write for others; I write for those who read every new post, for those who come across my page and read only one, and for those who don’t read any but support me anyways.

Thank you (again) to any and everyone who takes the time to read my never-ending stream of ramblings. It means the world to me… *insert another red heart emoji*

Midnight Ramblings

There is so much life to live and so little time to live it…there are so many things to do, to see, to learn, to decide on, to appreciate, to touch, to love, to hate.

How in the world can I do all of these things that I want to do in the world? Perhaps, because there are so many things, I have trouble deciding which thing to fill my time with, so I end up choosing nothing…and in those moments of nothingness, I am thinking about choosing EVERYTHING.

Decisions are tough for me. Chocolate or strawberry? I love both of those! Blue or purple? They’re both great! Doctor or lawyer? Why not both?! Just kidding, doctor was never on my career radar, but it may as well have been because I had so many other options that I couldn’t decide on!

So, how does one choose?

I don’t have an answer.

I choose things because I have to, because that is how one gets by in life, but if I had the choice, I wouldn’t choose anything at all. Actually, my choice would be to not have to choose between anything, but to have everything. And I don’t mean that I want everything because I am spoiled and live the luxurious life that allows me to have whatever I please, because I definitely don’t. What I mean, is that I’d like to have a little of everything, that way I don’t miss out on anything.

Perhaps, this is why I can’t choose between things, whatever they may be. Life has so much to offer, I don’t want to miss ANY OF IT.

I don’t think I have reached any definitive conclusions about life and its’ many decisions that must be made…this might be what it’s meant to be though, at least for now, and that is alright with me…

Got any grandiose ideas about life? Decisions? Choices? That actually might be the same thing as decisions, but you get the point! Comment below, share your thoughts with me (:

Boyfriend’s Birthday

Today is the 11th day of August, and it also happens to be my boyfriend’s birthday! To celebrate, I thought I’d share something that I wrote about the two of us a year or so ago. Thanks for reading!

Untitled

My absolute favorite part of the day is when I wake up next to you.

With our heads still filled with dreams, we lie next to one another, touching ever so slightly.

In these short moments, you are my world.

You are the only thing that exists, the only thing that my life encompasses.

But time goes on, morning becomes afternoon.

You get up because you don’t want to waste the day away in bed.

I’d prefer life that way, but coffee must be poured and life must go on, until the next morning when I awake, wrapped in your arms, your morning breathe stinging my nose.

The sweet kisses are worth it. 

You Got This!

“You Got This”

Jacob Compton

This isn’t a long, super meaningful quote, nor has it been quoted by a well-known, influential individual from decades ago. It is simple, and many people probably say it multiple times throughout their day without thinking twice about its’ meaning. It has been used as an inspirational quote for cute, colorful journals and wall decorations that women and little girls can buy to feel more powerful, like the lavender one that I have, which screams “YOU GOT THIS” in gold font. It’s a statement, three little words of encouragement, a quick phrase that tumbles out of the mouth.

To others, it may just be a meme – you know the one with the little brown and black puppy in the background, pointing at us and telling us that we do in fact have it! However insignificant or silly the phrase may seem to others, to me, it means so much more…

The first time I heard it was when I was walking away from Jake in the parking lot at CSUF. It was almost 7 PM, almost time for my Milton final, (I took Milton as a required course for my English degree, don’t know him? Look him up!) and I was not feeling great at all. I knew that I wasn’t going to do well on the final because the course was tough and I struggled throughout the semester. Even though I felt awful about the whole thing, and I dreaded having to walk to class that night, Jake had yelled after me “You got this!”.

When I met him in the parking lot afterwards, I dejectedly told him that “I did not have it, like at all…” I failed the final, I’m pretty sure, but I got a B in the course and ended the semester swearing that I’d never read Milton ever again. (I still haven’t read anymore by him but I’ve gotten over my past failure, it wasn’t Milton’s fault!)

Anyways, flashforward to today, I have lost count of how many times Jake has told me that “You got this!”. He says it so often that I have finally believed it myself, and even when I definitely do not have it, I feel better knowing that at least Jake believes that I do. That simple phrase has stuck with me for over two years, and every time I hear it, it reminds me that I have other people in the crowd cheering me on, supporting me and motivating me to keep going, to conquer my fears, to keep chasing my dreams.

Without knowing how much those three little words mean to me, my sister gifted me the lavender journal with the gold font to remind me to keep pushing forward with law school and with everything else that I’m trying to accomplish right now. I was overcome with love and gratitude (and even some tears) when she gave it to me, and now, those words mean even more to me, because she believes that I can do it too.

Whenever I’m feeling stressed or am struggling with something, or when I need to calm myself down or raise myself up, I whisper those three words to myself. “I got this, you got this Tiara, YOU GOT THIS”. It has made all the difference in the world to me (:

So, I challenge you to find your phrase, find your own mantra that will get you through the tough times and even the best, most happiest of times; use it to motivate yourself and to raise yourself up. Or you could use Jake’s quote like I do, whatever helps you to get through the day and one step closer to your goals and your dreams, because “YOU GOT THIS!” *insert red heart emoji*

Evening Ramblings

I used to write a lot in school, primarily because I was an English major and our homework/tests consisted of writing paper after paper, following the prompts and trying our best to impress the professors. Throughout community college and my time at CSUF, I’ve received A’s on nearly every paper and marks of approval from my professors. One professor who I greatly admired throughout my time at CSUF even said that she loved my writing style! So, yes, I can write very well in an academic, professional setting.

With that being said, I’ve decided that this blog will consist of all of the things I have never gotten to write about, and will include my thoughts, emotions, and reactions to life. I have never written for myself, even though my English professors suggested that all students should do so. Now that I think about it, I haven’t done a lot of things that have been suggested to me, but I think that I am finally ready to do those things. I don’t know where the motivation came from but I’m glad that it is finally here.

Now that the motivation has found its’ way to me, I’d like to use writing as a way to let everything out, in hopes that I become the person I have always wanted to be. To me, writing will be my comfort, like listening to music or reading is for others.

This space is my own, but I will gladly share it with others.

Goodnight…*insert sleeping emoji*

Inspiration

After my first blog post yesterday, I was overcome with a plethora of things that I could write about and fill my blog with. I challenged myself to write at least one a day, and was really looking forward to writing today. However, as I sat down to write, nothing came to me. Jake suggested that I write about what we did today, so what follows is a story of one of our many misadventures. Credit is graciously given to Jake for the inspiration…

Earlier this morning, Jake and I, along with his puppy, Florentine, went to Carbon Canyon in Brea. (Florentine is not actually a puppy, but that’s what I call her, much easier to say than Florentine) So, the three of us hiked the dirt path and followed it to the redwoods. The redwoods were tall, but not as tall as I expected them to be. I also expected there to be hundreds more than there actually were. I was thinking “Trail of Hundred Giants Trailhead in Porterville” big. I was wrong, of course, but I was not disappointed. I learned from the signs how the redwoods came to be and why they aren’t as big and numerous as I expected. Jake also spotted some rocks, all stacked up and balanced atop one another. I didn’t snap a photo, but am thankful for whoever took the time to balance the rocks for others to see and enjoy.

On our way back to the park, Jake spotted a snake in the bushes and heroically diverted Florentine away from it. (Puppy was never in any danger, but could have been if Jake wasn’t paying attention) I didn’t see the snake AT ALL, what with my dark-shaded glasses and being distracted by the nature surrounding me. Thank goodness he is more observant and more aware of his surroundings than I am. Long story short, I have learned that I am not a good pet-parent…As always, I am extremely thankful that Jake is willing to hike with me, that he protects our puppy from venomous snakes, and that he gives me inspiration when I don’t see any in sight.

All of this is to say that inspiration can strike anywhere, and then become obsolete when it’s actually time to sit down and write! Despite all of the inspiring things that I thought of yesterday and today, I still needed a push in the right direction. So here is a takeaway from our misadventure of the day: Inspiration can be anywhere, anything, or anyone…deep in the redwoods of Brea, deadly Arizona black rattlesnakes, or a man named Jake (not the guy from StateFarm, but my Jake).

The beginning of many ramblings

I always have these wild, constant thoughts about how I want to live my life, or how I should. This will be a space for me to work through all of those thoughts, and to try and make something out of them! Also, I’ve been wanting to write about my life and share with others, whoever they end up being. I crave to document my life somehow, other than posting all over social media, so this will be the place for me to do so. Follow me if you’d like! Share your ideas with me and ask me about mine! Life is wonderful and I think we should share it!

%d bloggers like this: